frog joke

Hoping for good news he goes to meet with a fortune teller.

The fortune teller closes her eyes, makes some strange sounds, and finally says, “You will meet a beautiful young girl that will want to know everything about you”

The frog gets excited and says, “Wow! When will I meet her? At a party?”

“No,” replied the fortune teller, “in her biology class.”

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Police and sneaky joke

A man goes to the police station wanting to speak to the burglar who broke into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court” says the desk sergeant.

“No, no, no!” Says the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

What is the joke here?

The Smuggler – Miscellaneous Jokes

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?”

“Sand,” answered Juan.

The guard says, “We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.” The guard detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. He releases Juan and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What’s in the bags?”

“Sand,” says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events is repeated every week for three years.

Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.

“Hey Buddy,” says the guard, “I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about…Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”

Juan sips his beer and says, “Bicycles.”

eat to beat inflammation pain

Eat with a rainbow in mind– Colorful veggies and fruits are rich in antioxidants and help fight inflammation. Include apples, berries, tomatoes, kale, beets and bell peppers

Fishy Fats- omega three fatty acids block inflammatory compounds. mackeral, sardines, salmon, tuna, trout and herring are good examples. Wild fish over farm or tank grown is preferred

Add spices-tumeric protects joints from inflammation, and ginger has similar properties.  Add tumeric to curries, add ginger to stir fries and fresh ginger root sliced in hot water to make tea.

Eliminate sugar drinks– Phosphoric acid in soft drinks makes knee arthritis worse

GREEN TEA– high in antioxidants called catechins and protect joints from cartilage damage

Eat a well balance meal, low in sugar, meat and refined grains since they all increase inflammation.

Have half your plate as fruits and or veggies, 1/4 as whole grains, and 1/4 as protein such as eggs, fish, beans or legumes, nuts and seeds

Engineer joke

An Engineer was unemployed for long time. He could not find a job so he opened a medical clinic and puts a sign up outside: “Get your treatment for $500, if not treated get back $1,000.”

One Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic. Doctor: “I have lost taste in my mouth.”

Engineer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Doctor: “This is Gasoline!”

Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”

The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.

Doctor: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”

Engineer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Doctor: “But that is Gasoline!”

Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”

The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Doctor: “My eyesight has become weak.”

Engineer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000.

” Doctor: “But this is $500…” Engineer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”

CANCER – reduce your risk

  • Exercise: Maintaining an active lifestyle can keep your body healthy, in proper shape, and functioning correctly.
  • Weight: Obesity has been linked to an increased risk for many different types of cancers, though the reason behind this correlation is unclear. Maintaining a healthy body weight can help reduce your risk for such cancers.
  • Diet: Eating healthy can provide your body with all the different nutrients it needs to function properly. Having the right balance of nutrients can help reduce stress on your body and boost healthy antioxidants, which help prevent DNA mutations.
  • Avoid smoking: This is one of the most important ways to prevent getting oral, lung, and many other types of cancer. Tobacco contains known carcinogens that introduce dangerous mutations into your DNA. Smoking is an unnecessary risk to your health that is completely avoidable. Even hookah and electronic cigarettes can lead to cancer, despite some common misconceptions about their safety. The first step is to avoid commencing the habit of smoking in the first place. But, if you are already addicted to tobacco products, you should seek help and support for quitting the habit. Even long-term smokers can reduce their risk for smoking-associated cancers, by quitting permanently.
  • Drink moderately: Heavy drinking over time has been linked to different types of cancers, such as liver, kidney, lung, breast, and colon cancer. According to the American Cancer Society, alcohol is known to cause oral cancer, breast cancer, liver cancer, and cancers affecting the gastrointestinal tract.
  • Use sun protection: Protecting your skin from damaging UV rays of the sun is also an essential step in preventing cancer. Skin cancer is becoming increasingly common and can be prevented by using sunscreen, wearing UV blocking sunglasses, avoiding tanning beds, and limiting sun exposure.
  • Stay up-to-date on immunizations: There are multiple types of cancer associated with different viral infections. Important vaccines are hepatitis B that can help prevent liver cancer and the human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine that can help prevent multiple types of cancer including cervical cancer.

By getting regular medical checkups, you can ensure you are in good health and catch health issues early, if they should arise. Early detection is one of the most important factors towards treating cancer. The earlier it is diagnosed, the better is the prognosis. Conducting self-examinations of your skin, breasts, and testicles, are also important tools for early detection.

Our obesity epidemic

overeating?

overeating?

Recently I had a difficult middle aged woman who weighed over 350 pounds come to me for weight loss advice. She also had a history of multiple miscarriages. The blood work that we did revealed she was diabetic in addition to her sleep apnea and other conditions.

At the prior visit I had made some healthy suggestions, none of which she was able to follow thru on. She admittedly had a danish with coffee and creamer with sugar for breakfast and either skipped lunch or ate on the run – while making poor choices.

For dinner tonight she was making 5 pork chops with cabbage for her and her husband to share.

I attempted to plan out a meal plan for her but met with resistance at every turn. I was however, able to lend insight into her miscarriages. She had a gene defect that leads to a problem with metabolizing  folic acid. I gave her recommendations on a geneticist to see for further evaluation into her folic acid problem,

I hope and pray she follows through with that as well as the endocrinologist who can help her with her new onset diabetes. Losing 10% of your present body weight (35 pounds) would be enough to reverse the diabetes.

Being active- such as walking also helps with reducing the resistance to insulin.

While it might seem a long road to travel, many have done it and I hope she does too.